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Lists
Comic Book Onomatopoeia and Their Real-World Counterparts
“Grrr!” = An internal reaction to your mom’s curfew rule
(you’re thirty-two). -
In Retrospect, Hiring Macbeth as Our Tinned Soup Ambassador Was a Bad Idea
“After a long day with kinsmen slaughtering foes in an odorous peat bog, there’s nothing like returning to the sod hut and forgetting all your toils and troubles over a bubbling bowl of Weird Sisters Soup.” -
Lists
Life Lessons and Dating Advice I Learned from Jigsaw Puzzles
“Your self-worth isn’t determined by how many puzzles you solve. It is determined by whether you can get the puzzle to marry you and have puzzle babies.” -
Short Imagined Monologues
Hello, It’s Me, Elijah. Who’s the Jerk Who Drank My Cup of Wine?
“Wow, guys, this is deeply uncool. After all these years, I finally make it to a Passover Seder, only to find you polished off the only cup of wine specifically intended for me. I mean, it had my name engraved all over it, in two different languages!” -
I Tried IHOP’s Sonic the Hedgehog Menu So You Don’t Have to, But I Wish You’d Help Out Once in a While
“At this point in the meal, I was feeling pretty uneasy, and not just because I housed six pancakes and a Sega Saturn–sized brick of breading. I was feeling ill because, to be frank, it feels like I do everything around here.”
Trending
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April 16, 2024An Open Letter to Wyna Liu, the New York Times’ Connections Editor
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April 18, 2024Good News, Husband: I’ve Become a Tradwife
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April 18, 2024Writer Math
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February 6, 2024My Comments Are in the Google Doc Linked in the Dropbox I Sent in the Slack
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April 16, 2024We Are Not a “School”—We Are a Hospital System with a Football Team
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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April 23, 2024Family Tours in the Kingdom of the Sick: Golf Course, Lightning
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April 22, 2024If They’d Told Me We Were Poor, I Would’ve Given This Commencement Speech to Other Poor College Graduates
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April 19, 2024Letters to Moms: A Letter to Alison in Knocked Up
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April 18, 2024McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Sam Sax About Their New Book, Yr Dead
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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April 12, 2024Chronicles of a Catsitter: My Human Went to “Greece” and Left Me with This Person Who Doesn’t Give Me Treats
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April 11, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Callie Siskel
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